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My "Can You Hear Me Now" presidential campaign
And if there's anyone in space.
What they'll learn about the human race.
Will be listening to us
Talking on our car phone
-Roger McGuinn
In his book, The World
is Flat, Thomas Friedman said he could run for President on one issue: Making American wireless technology as good as it is
in the rest of the world.
Friedman said that if elected he would promise that within four years Americans would have cell phone coverage as
good as Ghana.
In
eight years we would equal Japan, provided
that we made Japan
stop improving their technology while we catch up.
He called it the "Can
You Hear Me Now" campaign.
I've been waiting for Friedman to make his presidential move. Since he is holding back, I am borrowing his
idea.
If you want better cell phone coverage, vote for me.
My campaign will be a refreshing break from the other
announced candidates. I am not going to wave the flag and brag about America
being first. The United
States is
getting its tail kicked in the
battle for better communications tools.
In the technology race, the United States looks like a football game where
the the world draws players from
the New England Patriots and the United States get their squad from
a local high school.
Instead of discussing whether Barack Obama should wear a flag on his
lapel, we should make Obama and the
other candidates wear a miniature cell phone. That would remind people that we have some catching up to do.
Go and visit Japan. You won't have your cell phone conversations
cut off in mid sentence and you can find wireless internet wherever you
go. The connections are a lot faster and
reliable than anyone in the United
States could imagine.
People in Japan wouldn't
understand the "can you hear me now" television commercials. They
can hear each other everywhere.
Americans aren't focused on my issue. Few travel the world
and know how far behind weare.
The United
States used to understand the need for
technological advancement. Programs like
the Tennessee Valley Authority and the national highway system showed vision.
We need that kind of leadership again. We don't appreciate the edge that technology can give
business people.
I've had a cell phone for over 20 years. I paid thousands of dollars for my first one. I carried it in a bag larger than a suitcase. It worked in three Kentucky cities and no where
else.
It wasn't a status or a novelty item. It was a valuable
communications tool that gave me an edge on my competitors.
The kind of edge that other countries now have on the United States.
I used my original cell phone in my car or when I could not find
a phone booth. I did not use it in
church, in the middle of public meetings or while standing in the checkout line
at grocery stores.
There is a segment of
America
that wants cell phones to go away. They
probably wind up in the same grocery store lines I wind up in.
I recently stood in a
line with 10 people. All of them were
talking on cell phones and the clerk was talking on her cell phone, holding it
to her ear as she scanned items with her other hand.
She didn't look up or engage anyone in conversation. Outside of myself, no one was going to turn
off their phones and talk to her anyway.
My presidential campaign
may be overlooked by people tired of idle chatter and stupid ring tones.
Ring tones might be my ticket to victory.
When
people find that I can get them the neatest and coolest
ring tones, it will motivate a new block of voters.
There are people who spend more time thinking about ring
tones than war, famine and the economy. I understand completely. I would vote for any presidential candidate
who would promise that I never have to hear the "Louie Louie" ring tone again.
Comedian Stephen Cobert is talking about running a campaign
for president and only campaigning in his native state of South Carolina. I might copy his idea and run in Kentucky.
The Kentucky
primary is late May, long after the presidential nominees will be decided. The
vote will be completely irrelevant.
Just as irrelevant as the United States will be if we keep
running technologically behind the rest
of the world.
Don McNay
is the Chairman of the Board for McNay Settlement Group in Richmond Kentucky and the author of Son
of a Son of a Gambler: Winners, Losers and What to Do When You Win the
Lottery. You can write to him at
This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
or read other things he has
written at www.donmcnay.com
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